Storymatic prompt cards were zombie and person who takes shortcuts, as well as an email that cannot be un-sent and success at last. It’s silly.
Who breaks up with someone over an email? Dave, that’s who! It was the easiest, most expedient way to handle the situation. And he’d had a good reason. The cute new chick in the finance department seemed like she was hot to trot and he didn’t want to be a cheater. And it’s not cheating if you break up, right? So off the email went and off Dave went, straight to talking a pretty Penny into a closet for some hot, illicit office sex. Only she wasn’t at her desk, and she wasn’t in the break room, and by the time he found her she was already moaning up a storm in the closet with George (really? chucklefuck George?).
And fuck, where did that leave Dave? He’d just flushed a three year relationship for this whore. He couldn’t unsend that email. Tina would see it and would probably throw his succulent at his head because Tina was crazy. He wondered if she’d even read it yet, if maybe he had time to try to hack her email account and delete it before she could see. He was beelining back to his own desk to try some damage control, checking his phone obsessively. He dreaded every buzz, wondering if it was going to be a text or a phone call, because when Tina read that email she was going to be blowing up his phone, absolutely chewing him out. It took him a moment to pay attention to all the headlines that kept making his phone buzz – it was the news app going bonkers, not his maybe-maybe-not-girlfriend.
The zombie apocalypse had begun.
The thing about the zombie apocalypse is that dipshits like Dave always think they’re going to be the ones to survive but they’re the first to get it. After all, Dave was always trying to find the easiest way out and sometimes there are no easy outs. So it wasn’t long at all before Dave was a zombie. The other thing is that being a zombie is a mite more horrific in reality – it turns out you can think. You’re not alive, you’re not able to return to life, you have to be inside your body as it rots and creaks and falls apart. You can’t control a damn thing you do. You’re stuck in that shambling corpse, wandering aimlessly until there’s food, and then you’re ripping it apart. And it’s not good food – it’s raw flesh. And zombies aren’t picky.
So there you are, a ghost in a mindless eating machine, observing first hand the horrors you inflict on the world.
And all that random aimless shambling between the murder mayhem? It was boring as fuck. Dave’s mind wandered, and he wondered if it was the same for all the other poor schmucks that were stuck. Or was it just him? Was he somehow the only one that was stuck, left behind in this strange hell?
He spent so much time barely noting the world around him that he didn’t even realize he was in a familiar space until he was shambling through its doors. There had been no electricity anywhere in the city for months, so the bright lights attracted a lot of attention. Somehow one building had managed to become powered – maybe they had used some alternative source. He wasn’t sure. He could hardly direct his body towards investigating anything. Hordes of zombies before him had shattered the doors and windows and begun moving upstairs and into the rooms, looking for prey. He wasn’t sure if he had somehow managed to eke out some control of the corpse-that-was-formerly-he, or if perhaps the body held some memory of previous times. But somehow he found himself wandering into his old apartment. A computer screen flickered in front of him. He moved closer to it, barely able to make out the screen through his blurry vision, his almost useless dry eyes.
It was open to an email inbox screen. How had they even managed to get the internet? Was the internet still a thing, somewhere out in the wider world? But there it was. Email. Not just anyone’s email either – Tina’s email. And – marked unread – his email to Tina.
The rotting corpse hand shifted forward and awkwardly stiff hit something. The email deleted. He didn’t even know how it had managed that with one keystroke, but he felt a strange thrill of elation – success at last!
And that was when his head was bashed in by a potted succulent.
Tina sobbed as she recognized the zombie that had once been Dave, and smashed his head in again and again until there was no thinking matter left. Not that she was aware it was there.