I made a few brief edits to Chapter 1 of my 2023 writing challenge, the most significant being that I changed the name of the main character. It was originally Cassandra, and then I had switched it to Cassiopeia, but as the end of the story has kind of solidified for me recently, I decided Cassandra was a better fit. I do not plan to make a regular habit of editing these chapters once their posted, unless I spot a grammar/spelling mistake that should be changed, so hopefully I don’t make many posts like this.
Category: Writing
01. Cassandra
The sudden shock of being fully submerged in freezing water woke me instantly. I almost gasped, but as the salty water filled my mouth, I managed to snap my mouth shut and hold my breath. For a terrifying span of seconds, I wondered which way was up. I forced myself to calm to stillness and waited for my natural buoyancy to pull me in the right direction. It seemed to be working, but the seconds stretched unnaturally long as my lungs began to burn, and I thrashed desperately towards what I hoped was the surface.
My face broke water. I gulped hungrily at the sweet, crisp air.
I was never the strongest swimmer and I needed some moments to orient myself, so I relaxed, allowing myself to float on my back. My mind grasped at the last things I could remember. I had boarded my flight home after visiting with my father and his new wife. Did the plane crash? I couldn’t see any signs of a wreck nearby, and besides… I was flying from Ohio to Nevada. We shouldn’t have been above the ocean. Or at least, what I assumed was the ocean. I stared up at the undersides of dark clouds stretching across the sky, but despite the stormy appearance the water was calm. The confusion I felt was physically dizzying for a moment, and I closed my eyes against the vertigo that threatened to overwhelm my senses.
None of the questions I had were going to be answered quickly, nor would they solve my current problem. After several moments and three deep breaths, I had calmed myself reasonably enough and shifted back to treading water so I could take in my surroundings. I turned in a full circle to see if I could see something – animals, boats, land – anything. To my surprise, there were lights – close enough to give me hope, and they appeared to be moving in my direction. Tentatively, I shouted, “Help!” but it came out weakly, so I cleared my throat and filled my lungs and shouted again, much louder this time. I thought I could hear shouting in the distance.
I grasped desperately at the rope that was lowered into the water for me. My limbs felt clumsy and leaden as I wrapped it around my waist and positioned it under my armpits, my fingers so numb and frozen that maneuvering the rope into place seemed to take longer than it should have. Just as I wondered dully how I was going to manage the strength to pull myself up, I was instead yanked bodily from the water. At the other end of the rope were several men, and they easily pulled me up and over the railing, where I immediately slumped to my knees on the floor of the wooden deck. I couldn’t bring myself to stand. My mind felt foggy from the cold, which shocked me to some degree because I felt I hadn’t been in the water long enough to be so affected by it.
Someone wrapped a blanket around me quickly and lifted me bodily and I was taken inside. A cast iron stove stood on one side of the room and I was deposited on the floor near it. Normally I would have been appalled to be picked up and carried anywhere, but the heat wafting off the stove drove most other thoughts from my mind. I moved close to it, almost close enough to touch it, desperate for the warmth it emanated.
Soon the noise died down as the group was ushered out of the room, leaving me alone with a tall barrel-chested man, with a thick black beard streaked through with gray. He wore a baggy blue shirt that laced up the front, the sleeves rolled up, the color faded from sun and salt water. I stared at him blankly as he began to speak, wondering how addled my brain had been from the freezing waters because none of his words were making sense to me.
I shook my head, attempting to clear it. Frowning, he spoke again, and I realized it was a completely different language that I was hearing, and not one that I recognized at all. I responded this time with, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” I half hoped that he would recognize English, but he only frowned harder and tilted his head. He walked across the room slowly, grabbed a flask from inside a cabinet of some sort built into the other corner of the room, and then walked over to hand it to me. He was very slow and deliberate in his movements, and when he spoke, he spoke in a calm soothing tone. I couldn’t understand the words, but I did understand that he was trying not to appear threatening.
I accepted the flask and opened it, sipping cautiously at first. Whatever it was, it was strong and I almost coughed, but the flavor was sweet and the burn of the alcohol was warming. I took a harder pull from it before handing it back. He chuckled appreciatively and slipped it into his waistband.
A moment later another man entered. This one was not as tall or wide as the barrel-chested man, and he wore very plain tanned robes that looked almost like a long tunic or a simple toga. From under his clothes and climbing up his neck were a series of intricate tattoos, that rose to just under his ears and along the right side of his face and around his head in delicate designs that seemed to frame his features. He had short cut silvery blonde hair and very pale skin. He kept his eyes trained on the floor as he approached me.
The barrel-chested man was speaking to him as he came close and knelt to leave a pile of clothes and another blanket near me. Then he turned back toward the other man. Something was exchanged between them – a smooth black stone hung on a leather strap. Then he turned and faced me, the stone clutched in one hand that he held before him, the other hand gesturing as he spoke. His voice was clear, stronger than I had expected it to be from his demeanor, and the words sounded very different than the language I had heard so far – more than that, his voice took on an eerie echoing quality. He made direct eye contact – his eyes were a pale gray-blue, but for a moment they took on a fluorescent hue. A light shimmered around me.
I froze in place, unsure of what was happening or what to do about it. As the light dimmed and vanished, the barrel-chested man stepped closer. “Can you understand me now?” he asked.
I felt a shiver run down my spine, this time not entirely from the cold. I steadied myself by clutching the blanket around me tighter. “Yes,” I said, forcing my voice to be stronger than I felt.
He nodded, and gestured to the clothes. “We’ll leave you to some privacy. Get dressed, and then come find me on the deck.” I nodded. I looked back up at the man that had cast the spell, or whatever it was, but he had returned to staring demurely at the ground. As they left the room, the black stone was passed back to the barrel-chested man.
I stared at the door for a moment after they left, wishing he had left the flask behind as well. Then I stood and picked up the clothes that had been left for me. I try to dress as comfortably as possible when I go on long trips, so I was wearing leggings and a tank top under an oversized sweater. The sweater was heavy with cold water and I was glad to pull it off, letting it thump to the ground. I had been wearing slip on shoes, but they had been lost, either into the ocean or before, but I did still have my socks. I peeled the wet clothes off, and when it became clear that there wasn’t any underwear on offer in the pile of clothes, wrung out my underwear and sports bra and socks and held them as close as I dared to the stove. I did the same with the tank top, which was a light enough material that I figured it would dry quickly as well.
I wasn’t sure how long I would be given to dress, so the underwear was still damp as I slipped it back on, but at least nothing was soaked through as badly as it had been. I also pulled the tank top back on. The tanned breeches they left were simple, and actually fairly close to my size though still a bit too large. They buttoned on the side, and I found a folding knife on the table that I used to improvise a new buttonhole to close the pants a bit tighter. The shirt was red and baggy and much too large – it had been meant to lace up the front, but the laces were missing. It wasn’t that big of an issue with the tank top underneath, at least. I wrung my hair and my other clothes out as best as I could, then wrapped my damp clothes in the blanket that had first been given to me, which was also fairly wet at this point.
Wrapping myself in the new blanket and pulling my socks on, I started to leave the room. I glanced briefly at the little knife I had used to improvise the buttonhole, wondering if I should take it with me. After a moment of indecision, I folded the knife and slipped it into the waist of the pants.
It looked a little lighter outside now. The sails were billowing and the ship was moving along at a clipped pace. Glancing up, just behind the wheel I could see another individual dressed in the same tanned robes as the pale man. She held a hand out to the sails, and was enveloped in a faint glow, with wisps of light dancing around her. Her hair was also shorn very short, and I could just barely make out a series of tattoos along her temple and jaw that wrapped up around and came down low on her forehead.
She was the source of the wind, I realized.
The barrel-chested man was standing up near them, leaning against the rail. He waved a hand at me as he saw me emerge from the cabin. I walked up the stairs to where he was. “Allow me a proper introduction,” he said as I approached. “You’re aboard my ship, the Crimson Yeller. My name is Karl Wrasker, and I am both owner and captain of this vessel.”
“I’m Cassandra Murphy,” I said. “If you don’t mind, Captain… where am I? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a language like the one you spoke.”
He raised an eyebrow and studied me for a moment. “Could say the same,” he said, then continued with, “You’re lucky we were near enough this stretch of water as it is. Some say it’s a cursed stretch of ocean. Almost impossible to navigate without an elf to fill your sails,” he gestured at the glowing woman.
“Elf?” I stared more closely now. Sure enough, the tips of her ears came to gently upswept points. I turned to peer around and caught sight of the man that had cast the spell on me earlier, standing a few feet back from the Captain. He had been studying me curiously but as I turned to look at him, his eyes quickly averted, and he was staring at the floor once more. His ears also came to points.
“Yes, but no worries – these aren’t Empire elves. They’re properly tethered.”
“I… I see.” Tethered? Were they prisoners or maybe even slaves? “I don’t suppose you saw anything in the sky before you saw me?” I hoped the question didn’t sound too unusual in a world where there was magic.
“We saw a light, which is why we drew so close to where we found you. It was quite a flash – lit up the whole sky like dawn and then channeled straight down into the water. May have been something that delivered you to that spot.” He studied me again, very pointedly staring at my ears which he seemed to decide were suitably rounded. “Were you a prisoner of the Empire?”
“I don’t know. I… don’t remember. I don’t remember anything about my life at all.” I glanced away, hoping he wouldn’t catch the lie. I wasn’t sure how to explain that where I was from, there was no such things as elves or magic. The description of the light that he gave didn’t sound like the fireball of a plane crash at least. I wondered what had happened to the plane, or to the other passengers. I wondered what my mom would think when I didn’t arrive in Reno safely. I stared up at the billowing sails, lost in thought.
“Well, you’ve had quite a night, and it’s barely morning yet. If you need some sleep, I’ll have Lyre show you to the guest cabin. It’s not a large ship and we rarely take on passengers. I’ll have him stay with you while you’re aboard – I think he’s the only elf we’ve got that can do the language spell. He’ll have to recast it each morning, and he can show you about the ship when you wake.” Wrasker gestured to Lyre, who stepped forward obediently.
“Thank you, Captain,” I mumbled, tilting my head forward in acknowledgment, then turned to follow Lyre.
“Wait… you’ll be needing this.” I stopped and looked back. The Captain was holding out the flat black stone. I reached out and grabbed the leather strap that held it. “That’s his Focus. He’ll need it for casting, just make sure you take it back immediately after each spell, and don’t let any of the other elves touch it.” I nodded, and slipped the leather strap around my neck. It hung low enough to disappear under my tank top, and felt almost warm against my skin.
Then I was led back down and below the cabin I had been taken to warm up in. A small hall separated two smaller rooms of similar size and build. Inside there were two beds, each with a trunk placed at the end, and a small table set between them. A lamp sat on the table, glowing brightly. I laid my damp clothes out on the trunk to dry, and hung the damp blanket from the end of the bedframe, then sat on the thin mattress, pulling the dry blanket around me tighter.
My mind attempted to digest everything from the past hour. I felt that certainly I must be dreaming. I ran my hand over the blanket wrapped around me – it was soft, old and worn but not yet threadbare. The sounds of the deck were dampened here, but the ship creaked as it swayed on the ocean, and the occasional voice drifted down. I felt that these were details I would never have noticed in a dream.
After a few moments, I realized that Lyre was still in the room and standing at the door, his eyes trained on the floor, his hands clasped in front. I stared up at him, studying him in the lamplight. Slavery. That was something hard to digest. Disgust and pity and anxiety churned my insides. “You don’t have to stand like that.” Nodding, he began to sit on the floor in front of the door. “No! Don’t do that!” I cried out, probably louder than necessary. His head snapped up to look at me in alarmed confusion. Our eyes met briefly, and then he immediately focused his gaze back down on the floor and started to stand again. “I just mean… you can sit on the other bed.” I gestured toward it.
I felt the heat rising up my neck as he paused for a long moment before obeying me. With a flash of anger, I realized that of course slaves probably weren’t used to being invited to sit with their slavers. It all seemed awful. I was in a world with magic and elves, and they were slaves. And I had no idea how I had come here. I had been on a plane. What had happened to the plane? To the other passengers? Were they in this world too? Or did the plane get to its destination just fine without me? What were my parents going to think when I didn’t make it home? Would my mom keep my dog and continue to take care of him? When I didn’t show up for work in a few days, would I lose my job? My apartment? I was on a ship, in a strange world where likely no one spoke my language. I had a slave assigned to look after me.
I leaned forward and placed my forehead in my hands, feeling exhausted and sick, like a million centipedes were crawling over every inch of my insides and eating me alive. I forced myself to clear my mind. I could change none of this in the moment. I took three deep breaths. I realized how bone tired I felt.
Looking up, I caught Lyre staring at me curiously again. His gaze dropped immediately. Well, there’s something that’s going to annoy me quickly, I thought. I moved my hand up to my face to push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, or maybe remove them before sleeping – a gesture that felt so natural that I didn’t consider it until my hands touched nothing. No glasses. Frowning, I ran my hands down my face again, then pulled them away. Of course, there was no way my glasses would have survived through anything that had happened to me.
And yet…
I looked up at Lyre again, squinting slightly though there was no need. My vision isn’t the worst, but even at this distance I shouldn’t have been able to make out the details of his tattoos, or the pattern of the wood grain behind him. And yet I saw it all in perfect detail.
Like I didn’t need glasses at all.
“Huh,” I said. Then everything about my situation crashed down on me again, but instead of letting the anxiety build I started to laugh. I couldn’t help myself. Everything about this situation was utterly insane. Lyre frowned, but didn’t look up at me. “Well, what the fuck?” I murmured to myself, and then lay down on the bed, turning to face the wall of the cabin and pulling the blanket around me. From under the blanket, I slipped the pocket knife between the mattress and the wall, then closed my eyes to sleep.
2023 Writing Challenge
So this year a friend and I are going to be undertaking a writing challenge. We’ve agreed upon the following ground rules as follows:
1) The goal is to write 2500 words (at the very least) a week. We can go over the word limit, but cannot fall under it.
2) We have allowed that we can start plotting/writing before 2023, but the first post will start on January 8, 2023 and continue until December 31, 2023.
3) No short stories counted toward the challenge. The challenge will involve one full story, so by the end of 2023, we will each have written a full novel.
4) Through the year we must make at least 45 posts. This gives us a bit of leeway to miss the occasional week (because life happens).
5) The story does not have to end after the challenge if we are not done. But we must be able to stretch it long enough to meet the terms of the challenge (at least 45 updates of 2500 words or more).
6) Whoever quits the challenge first owes the other person a fancy cheesecake.
I’m not very good at keeping up with things like this for more than a few months, so I have the feeling I’ll be owing someone a cheesecake, but let’s see how far I can go.
NaNoWriMo
Anyhow, I didn’t get much more than one drawing for Inktober done (because I am a bum) and I’ve been working on a Paint With Diamonds kit that’s not an original design so I won’t post it. But it’s done, and now we’re entering November, or as some people know it, National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo for short). For anyone that has never heard of NaNoWriMo, it is where you challenge yourself to write a short 50,000 word novel all in the month of November. I have only finished once that I can remember – usually I give up halfway through the month, and that sometimes depends on how busy I am. I’m not as busy as usual this year, so I’m hoping I can stick with it.
I do want to paint more, and have a project book set up to try to draw more, but that likely won’t start regularly until December. I got a bit of a late start with NaNoWriMo this year, but at the moment I am sitting at 4770 words. I will give an update later in the month with how far I was able to get.
Even if you have no interest in undertaking the challenge, I’ve noticed that they’ve done quite a few updates to the NaNoWriMo site since the last time I had checked it. They’ve opened it up to allow people to track their progress on non-challenge related writing projects and goals too, so that could also be interesting to check out and try.
NYC Midnight FF 2020: Adoption
For the second story, my genre was Fairy Tale, the setting was an animal rescue shelter, and the item that had to appear was a loaf of bread. I was more confident with this genre, and did score 3rd overall in our group, but with the poor results of the first story was not able to advance to the next round.
I found that I really liked the idea of this story as a prelude for a longer story. I’m not sure that I will ever actually write it, but the idea was quite fun. At first I was going to lean towards using aliens, but then realized that would lean more sci fi than fairy tale, so changed the adopters. I was a little worried that the judges knowing what to look out for in the story would spoil the ending and cause it to score lower, but I really liked the idea and decided to stick to it, and it did work out in the end. So the following is my story: Adoption.
Danny could remember hearing his mother’s voice yelling caution, “Don’t go too far in, Daniel! I don’t want to lose you!”
But something about the calming green of the woods beckoned him on. A chittering sound caught his attention. He realized it was emanating from a small light. Curious, he broke away from the path to follow it. The light never seemed far, but he realized how much time had passed as he grew hungry. He paused and looked back, realizing he could no longer see the sun shining through the tree line. With some trepidation, he wondered how angry his mother was.
Danny turned to go back, but the light was suddenly in his face, chittering loudly. He cried out and stumbled when his foot caught some brush, and ended up rolling into a small clearing, surrounded by mushrooms. He could remember feeling annoyed and brushing the bits of fungus off of his clothes, when a sudden tiredness overtook him. His entire body felt heavy and weary, and his head nodded – it was hard to keep his eyes open, and he was reminded of warm afternoons stuck inside with his droning tutor…
And then he had woken up here.
Danny didn’t know where here was. It was a mostly concrete enclosure of some sort. A bundle of hay with a blanket created a makeshift resting place, stray bits of hay strewn across the floor. Only one wall was different – a semi-opaque barrier. He wondered what kind of place he had been taken to. He stood and walked quickly over to the barrier and placed his hands on it – it felt like glass. Danny balled his hands into fists and punched the strange barrier.
The surface had too much give and bounced his fist back like rubber. Frustrated, he began to punch it more, harder, and even kicked it a few times, but each time it absorbed his blows. By the time he stepped away, huffing and puffing with his effort, he could see that he had not made the slightest mark. Frustrated and frightened, Danny felt his eyes well up with tears, blurring his vision. What was going to happen to him? He tossed himself down on the straw pile and bawled loudly.
After an hour, his tears quieted, though he didn’t feel much better. As he lay sniffling, he heard the sound of something scraping across the concrete. Frowning, he pushed himself up and looked over his shoulder – a portion in the corner of the barrier was open, and a tray of food was being pushed in. He jumped up and ran over, but the opening disappeared before he could reach it. He could barely see a shadow moving back, and he slapped his hands on the barrier again. “Wait!” he shouted. The shadow stood for a few moments before moving on.
The tray held a small warm loaf of bread, and a bowl of a hearty looking white soup. There was also a little jug – Danny lifted it carefully and could hear some liquid sloshing around inside. When he opened and smelled it, it smelled faintly musty – he took a sip and found that it was water. His stomach growled and he remembered how hungry he was. He sat and ate the soup, tearing the loaf of bread into pieces to dip into it.
After eating, he sat staring at the edges of the strange barrier and where it met the concrete cell. He wondered if there was any weakness he could exploit, and poked at the edges he could reach. As he sat, shadows moved beyond it, but after the first few had ignored him, he had stopped acknowledging them. When he grew tired, he moved to the blanket and slept.
When he woke, the tray was gone.
He moved over to the barrier and sat at the spot that had opened before. Maybe he would be able to squeeze out quickly the next time they came to feed him. He hadn’t waited long when a new, larger opening appeared and three people stepped into his small enclosure. He pushed himself against the concrete as he stared up at them. Although they appeared initially human, something inside him screamed that they were not. All three were ethereally beautiful – two men and a young girl that looked just a little older than him. They were taller than humans, with features that seemed more pointed and elongated – large eyes, prominent cheekbones, pointed ears, slightly upturned noses, and long thin limbs. They seemed to emit a faint glow.
“We got him in just yesterday. This one isn’t very obedient, which is why it was so easy to separate it from its mother, but it’s still quite young and should be amenable to any training. I think it would be a wonderful starter pet for your child,” one of the beings was saying as they crowded around him.
“It is quite young,” the other adult said, seeming hesitant.
“Doesn’t it’s mother miss it?” asked the child, reaching a hesitant hand out to Danny. Danny stared at the hand, the long fingers, the pointed nails.
“Ah, you see, that is what changelings are for. You’ve raised one for a class assignment, haven’t you? We use them to replace the ones we adopt, so the parents are not distressed at a sudden disappearance. And then the changeling sickens and dies, and the parents don’t know that anything is unnaturally missing.”
Danny reached out tentatively to the child’s hand, astonished to see that her eyes were yellow. The inhuman girl giggled as their fingers brushed. “I like him! Can we take him home?”
The hesitant adult considered and nodded. “Well, we did come to this animal shelter to find you a pet. Remember, humans are a lot of work to care for.” The girl promised ardently to provide the best care.
“If you’d follow me, we do have some contracts to fill to finalize the adoption…”
And the following is the judge feedback for the story, this time much shorter but with some interesting ideas on what could be clarified or expanded upon:
”Adoption” by Mary O’Doherty – WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY – {1745} What an amazing story! The way you twisted it to humans and other worldly beings was so interesting, compared to a regular animal shelter. Quite shocking in a very well written way! {2027} I admire the use of the animal shelter here — an interesting twist to have the fae creatures come and adopt the child, Danny, as they would any pet. This does well to illustrate an old tradition in fairytales, which is to heed a parent’s wishes and wisdom or face terrible consequences. Nice work! {2026} The beginning of this story reminded me of Pan’s Labyrinth, where young girl follows the forest fairy to the fawn in the labyrinth (a great, but dark film if you haven’t seen it). This story’s unique premise and timely plot development help make it an impeccable reading experience. I especially enjoyed the part where you describe the child’s reaction to waking up in the animal shelter. The subsequent dialog cleverly delivers key information about the child’s inhuman kidnappers. There’s lots to admire here; thanks for sharing! WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK – {1745} I would have loved to see a bit more detail about those beings who capture the humans, it seems like they would look very unique and quite scary! {2027} I wonder if it might further strengthen Danny’s character to have him speak directly to these creatures at the end. What could he say to try to defend himself? Can they understand him as he can understand them? {2026} As a practical point, I wondered how the changelings were raised to replace the children they kidnapped. Wouldn’t they need to resemble the kid they replace, appearance and behavior-wise? What are these inhuman characters? Aliens or elves? I wanted more world-building and explanation here.