It is not much that actually goes through my mind

not so much in actual thoughts, easily expressed in mere words.

(it’s born from a feeling of warmth,

like spring sunlight falling on bare skin

only radiating from within and seeping slowly outwards,

it’s a byproduct of the floaty, fluttery feeling

somewhere between the stomach and the heart

that catches at the back of your throat

like the fear that steals your breath

when you fall unexpectedly)

It’s panic.

It’s anxiety, both kinds – wishing and worry.

It’s the euphoric delight in the fact

that if you felt for me

even one iota

of what I felt for you

we could be together forever.

It is the dawning realization

that forever is a fairy tale.